Funny random sayings!

[Evhead007]

k so here i go...


If i die i'll kill you.

I don't like acting dumb i'm dumb naturaly.

mmmm...toast

.....SRRY THATS ALL I COULD THINK OF IN FIVE MIN.

feel free to add

[Vern]

I love these. They provide me hours of entertainment when I find websites that are full of them.

-Support the fine arts, shoot a rapper.
-I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
-I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
-I go online sometimes, but everybody's spelling is really bad and it depresses me.
-Some advice: Never take a blind date to a silent film.
-Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
-For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
-Angry people need hugs. Or sharp objects.
-People tell me I don't listen...or something like that.
-Calling you an idiot would be an insult to the stupid people.
-There is no "I" in team, but there is a "Me".
-My life is based on a true story.
-Rehab is for quitters!
-If you think nobody cares you're alive, try not filing your taxes.
-There are no stupid questions, only a vast number of inquisitive idiots.
-We're all entitled to our own opinions. So, in my opinion, your opinion sucks.
-I'm not a showoff, you're just stupid.
-Friends don't let friends get mullets.
-Or lick frozen poles.
-If Tylenol, duct tape, or a band-aid can't fix it, you've got a serious problem.
-People like you are the reason people like me hate people.
-Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.
-By the time you have finished reading this, you will have realized you just wasted 10 seconds of your life.


Yeah, I know. I need a life.:yes:
By the way, they're called aphorisms.

[IslandBobo]

this one is hilarious
-Drugs have taught an entire generation of american kids the metric sytems.

hehe

[Arwen300]

my dad asked me if I ate a bowl of Stupid-O's for breakfeast this morning. lol. I love that one.

[Yosimar]

Hahahahaha! omg those are hilarious!

What website did you get those from?

Usher is such a waste of soap


LOL! I was talking to a friend and this just came out of me like a demon during an exorcism.

You will rise faster than a 12 year old's penis

that one's wrong

People came from monkey's? I think i came from Godzilla

some girl in Teen Issues said this.


I mean, i don't want to mother anyone

my mom said that about her boyfriend. its funny that she doesn't want to mother anyone, though she still has me and my younger brother to raise!

Oh well, my ass probably swallowed it

my sister said it after she sat on the remote.

William is my slave name

Bill, my best friend (and admiration/inspiration) when asked about his name by me.

You are my anchor

Mango, from SNL said this to Christopher Walken

When i die, the last thing i want to say is 'unquote'


a friend said it

[CatherineLovett]

--Alpha, beta, gamma, delta....epsilon...damn it, what comes next?!

That was me in my Italian class one day...I was really bored at the end of class and I told my teacher I wanted to learn the Greek alphabet. So, she asked me to say what I know of it, and that came out. Heh...

--Wait, wait, wait, wait....What the hell?

That was me also...though I don't remember where that was from.

Most of my random sayings were all said by me....here's another one.

--I shall take over America! With sporks, napkins, and Styrofoam! And bubble wrap!

Me being bored at lunch one day in eighth grade, and that just came into my head. It hasn't left me since the day I said it.

[Vern]

Originally Posted by Crimsontwilight

--I shall take over America! With sporks, napkins, and Styrofoam! And bubble wrap!

Me being bored at lunch one day in eighth grade, and that just came into my head. It hasn't left me since the day I said it.

Sadly, somebody has beaten you to it.

But something really random? I have an imaginary dad. His name is Dave. Except, he's kind of real. That was me, talking to a friend...and we were talking about potato chips...

[Evhead007]

these are all great! way better then mine...oh well

:rotflmao:

what do u do if u live in a shoe and u aint got no soul?

scrabadubdub in a tub.

PIE.

i know what ur thinking. what's a place like me doing in a girl like this?

I WILL EAT YOUR BELLY BUTTON!!!

lol i was arguing with my sister the one dy. this is how it ended.

her: well you cant just do that ok? it's unfair!
me: ok u aren't hearing me. WTF did i do!!?
her: stop! u know exactly what u did! *starts rambling on about sum crap.
and u know what else?!?
me: yea, i know exactly what else!!!!!!!
her:....
*after a good 15 seconds
me: you're ugly.

it was hilarious at the time.....

lol my friends from like some other country in some other continent<<<lol!
opened a box of otees (they're cherios or something for ppl out of south africa)
and he's like, "OMG!!! donut seeds!!!"